Mild Insanity

Well. I sure haven't updated this sucker in a bit, so I doubt anyone is even checking here anymore, but what the hey. Let's post.

I understand why artists are a little nutty. Or, rather, I understand a bit of why I'm a bit nutty. I imagine it's pretty close to someone who hears voices in their head, something urging them on to do something. Often, as I try to fall asleep I get this burst of inspiration, or perhaps it's really just an odd sort of longing. In any case, this thing makes me want to get up, boot my computer, and work on some random stuff. Even when I'm sick, even when I know I should get some sleep because I have to get up early, because... because I have to. Because if I don't, I'm somehow less of whatever it is I should be.

So here I am, awake at four in the morning, listening to music and working on another book. And now writing this post, of course. Because I have to. Because if I don't, well, I'll just be up for another few hours thinking about how I should and how working on this story is more important than feeling healthy and awake in the morning. This, of course, is just a minor part of my minor insanity, but it certainly doesn't help with the part of me that pretends to be normal.

And since I mentioned I was working on this story, I should mention this other bit - I threw up another blog into the vastness of the internets. I'll be using this other blog to post a chapter of this new book each week, until I either finish or decide posting is a bad, horrible idea. I've been toying with the idea of doing some self marketing and promotion via the internet, taking control of my destiny, speaking with my own voice, etc, so this is a way for me to dip my toes into those waters to see how I like it. It's a private blog, you need to be invited to see it, so if you're reading this and didn't get an invite already, just let me know about how I've overlooked your poor soul and I'll send you one. Unless I have no idea who the hell you are.

And now I'm going to get back to working on this book. Maybe I'll get to see the sunrise too. Haven't done that in a bit. Could be fun.

I love the summer.

NaNo

It's November! Hooray!

I began my nano yesterday. My working title is Shattered Soul. I don't know if I want to keep that title yet. The title fits the overall trilogy I have in mind, but I'm not certain it relates well enough to book one. I guess we'll see for sure when I finish it!

This time I'm trying to write the sucker from a first person point of view. It's a little strange because the most I've ever done from first person was Eye for an Eye (short story that became my first novel, Death to Life) and short little journal excerpts in last years nano, Duty's Tomb. I think the speaker's voice may be a little too formal right now, but as I get going I'll probably get in the swing of it and loosen it up.

My goal today is to get to 6,000 words. That should put me somewhere near the end of chapter two or at the beginning of chapter three. I have a loose outline I'm working with right now, so at least I kind of know where I'm going with it. I also have several pirate and ship books sitting near my computer so that I can try to be accurate and immersive with my details.

If you'd like to read a small excerpt from the beginning of Shattered Soul, you can click on over to here. I'll be changing the excerpt posted every now and then when I find something that I like. My sister has also written a bit (and is ahead of me right now!). You can see her profile by clicking to my writing buddies then clicking on Muskrat. I have to admit I am surprised and very touched that she mentions dedicating her novels to me. I look forward to reading more of her nano as well as the nano of anyone else who decides to participate!

Quest for the Object

Hey, y'all. I've been very busy lately, getting ready for NaNo, playing WoW, and of course my 20 units of school. It's a little stressful, but so far I'm managing it. Parts of school I even enjoy, like a recent observation assignment. I was told to observe someone for about ten minutes. That person couldn't be aware that I was observing them. Then I had to write a short little paper about that.

It took me awhile to choose who to observe, but eventually I chose my nephew, who is the cutest baby of them all. The end result was pretty good, I think. At least, the students who read it in class liked it and the teacher now wants a copy to keep as an example. And since strangers like it, I decided to post it here for people I know to read. I hope you enjoy it!

Quest for the Object

He progressed slowly, each movement coming in a quick jerk. His body was low to the ground, a fistful of course strands of carpet filling his small hand every time he moved. Left hand and right leg forward. Then right hand and left leg. Snap one set forward and then the other, one after the other.

Suddenly he needed a break. This was a safe spot along the path and he rocked backwards, coming to a sitting position in another unsteady, teetering movement that was much like his crawling. His dark eyes swept the room, taking in the one side he had left behind, and then focusing on where he still needed to go. His goal was somewhere that way, towards the bright light. He stared, trying to lock the goal back in his sight. Where was it? He could not move until he saw it.

There! His mouth dropped into a wide grin. A high pitched squeal ricocheted through the room and he shut his mouth, listening. Then, realizing that the strange squeal had come from his own mouth, he squealed again. It was small war cry, spurring him ahead as he once again tilted forward and wobbled ahead, hand and leg, hand and leg.

The goal wasn’t far away now, but he sensed movement to the side. Long shadows spread across his prize, darkening the path. He paused only for a moment to look at this threat. His head had to tilt up and up, twisting to the side at an awkward angle. There was a giant standing there, coming towards him and his prize.

It was a giant he had seen before and it didn’t worry him. He let loose another high pitched war cry, grinning at the giant and taunting it. As it often did, the sound made the giant pause and smile back. The giant’s smile made him giggle, filled as it was by so many sharp white things, so different from his own smooth gums which contained only two tiny teeth on the bottom lip.

He giggled at the giant’s foolishness and launched himself forward, now crawling faster than ever. The object was now just a foot away. An inch! In his hand!

Both of his hands swooped down around the object, determination paying off. He leaned back to sit once again and marveled at the object’s bright colors, the many runes and pictures painted on its smooth surface. And then, in one swift, abrupt movement he brought it to his mouth, soft gums crashing against the cube’s edges.

The giant was now beside him. She bent down, sweeping both him and the object up high into the air. Still, he wasn’t worried. He had his object.

“Little love,” the giant said, her head leaning close to him, her voice soft. “What do you have there?”

He merely smiled, mouth widening around the object he still chewed. She knew what he had. She knew it was his object now. He had won.

Procrastination is a crime...

I have been working on my latest novel, Zix, and reached the halfway point. And, right on schedule, I have decided that all 50k words are crap.

This happens with every novel I work on. The only exception is my very first novel attempt which hit over 100k before I took a serious look at it. I was very unoriginal and full of myself. Now, I'm able to keep momentum going until about the halfway mark and then I panic. I look back and see all the errors. And I'm torn between wanting to fix them all, or running away from it and starting something new, untainted by the reality of actually writing it all down.

On the one hand it's nice to know that this is normal for me. Having actually gotten full drafts of two novels, I know that what I have to do is slog on through. In another 25k things will look less horrible and I'll be able to use the brief burst of optimism to finish the rest. I just have to get over all these lingering doubts that haunt the 50k mark.

Of course, these doubts mean I haven't written in two days. Two days aint bad, but two days often leads to a week which leads to me questioning my writerly ways. Since I've finished one novel in each of the past two years I want to finish another one this year. Before November, to be more accurate, because that's when NaNo begins. But, on the other hand, it might be more productive to go back to one of those full novels and go my merry way rewriting them. Buuut does that mean I'm a crap writer if I wrote 100k in new novel material this year but that 100k is from two 50k half completed novels? I know it doesn't, but it rankles anyway.

In another news, school starts next week. I'm both excited and terrified about it. First off, I decided to audition for one of the school's wind ensembles. The problem here is that the only one that works with my schedule for the first semester is their top ensemble. This means I have to beat out music majors. I was in the top ensemble at The Beach, then went and got a masters in performance, so I think I can do it, but I haven't been practicing much at all this past year. The excerpts I've chosen are cool, but I worry about freaking out and/or bombing the sight reading. Aw well, I guess if I don't get in the ensemble I can buy me some solo literature to work on.

I'm also a little anxious about the classes I'll be taking. They're all teacher classes, so they should be very straightforward and easy. It's not the material I'm worried about, it's my classmates. I want to get along with them since I know that there will probably be group projects and such. I also don't want to feel old. Since these are night classes though there should be plenty of students who don't have that barely out of high school look, so I'm probably worrying about nothing on that front.

And that's all I'm talking about today. This is actually procrastination from writing. I should stop doing that because it seldom helps the situation. It sure is easier, though.

Summer Time

I've been feeling pretty content lately. A few weeks ago I was able to register for the classes I need to take this fall. The only annoyance so far in the schedule is that I have class until around 10pm on Mondays which means I'll have to take a break from the community band. I'm also still waiting on my student teaching assignment, so who knows where and when that will be, but hopefully I'll find out well enough in advance.

Because of this Monday issue, I've been practicing a little bit each day to get ready to audition for one of the bands at this college. The only one that fits my schedule for the fall is the top band which means I'd have to beat out music majors. I'm trying to contact the department chair to make sure it is all right for me to audition anyway. I'd love to be able to play with a college level band for a bit again.

In the world of writing, I've been working on a couple projects, the main one being Zix. I still haven't decided on a title, but it's getting more interesting. It's certainly different from what I've done so far and I hope it's a good story when I'm finished with it. I've also been toying with ideas of how to rewrite a few sections of Piper's Debt before sending it out again, and I have a load of ideas for other works which I'll eventually be choosing between for NaNo.

That's all that's really interesting with me right now. Got a lovely leather bag in Mexico for when I begin school again. Maybe its prettiness will help keep me from being annoyed when people ask me certain questions. Foolish Frost and his road less traveled by. The poem doesn't mention the people standing where the paths cross asking you why the heck you decided to go that way. Ah well.

End of May Update

I've been getting myself stressed out again.

It's mostly because of my current job. It has been... let's say special. Those who know me well know enough of what is going on that I won't go into details. Because of this annoyance I just filled out fafsa and am going to call the financial aid office tomorrow. If I can get even a little bit then I won't need to work the full summer. That would be an enormous relief.

If I can kick this job to the curb I can spend the summer working on my current novel, Zix. Zix is just the working title, it will get a real title later. Zix is the name of the main character. I named her that because it sounds cool. Zix. Awesome.

Meanwhile I'm still waiting to hear from the agent who is reading of Piper's Debt. I really hope she wishes to represent me. If she does, I wouldn't mind doing another big rewrite to that project. Heck, if she doesn't I might still do a rewrite. I think the book still has hope. Same with Death to Life. I think I'm getting much better about writing things like resumes and query letters. I just need to think of them as tiny artworks as well and then they're more fun. I'm sure they're more fun to look at too.

And that's it that's going on with me right now. Still trying to become a teacher. Oh yeah, I was admitted into both the college and the credential program. And my application to student teach went through. If nothing it should be an interesting year, one that I am rather excited about. Just gotta figure out this annoyance at work. Then all will be joyous again. Hooray.

Happy Day

Good news!

At the end of march I sent out ten letters to agents. Seven of them came back with negative replies. Two I haven't heard from.

One wants to read the rest of the manuscript.

So I spent all of today doing a surface edit. Yes, as soon as I got the letter I sat down and spent my day reading the whole novel, making tiny little changes all over.

I'm excited because I have never gotten a request for a full before. It doesn't mean anything really, just that there's a little interest in the general story, but I feel it's a step in the right direction. But at the same time I'm panicking. I suddenly want to rewrite the first ten chapters. Instead I'm sending it out in the mail tomorrow. Maybe I'll rewrite the first ten chapters later, just in case this comes back in three months with another rejection.

I'm trying not to over think it. I have a third novel in the works, working title "Zix." It's very different from the other two. I was supposed to spend all of today working on that, but this letter got me sidetracked. I want to allow myself to get excited about this, but as I said before it may mean nothing.

Or it could mean I'm that much closer to getting an agent. Oh me oh my!